The Verdant Braes of Maryland

by cathrynbauer

Wild fuschia?

And we’re into Beltane, those changeable days when the natural world steadily becomes more beautiful by, it seems, the hour.  Goddess help me and against all odds, I am starting to love living here.  I can see where it has different advantages than the San Francisco Bay Area.  Found myself thinking that I was actually living in the kind of country I used to have to drive to.

Ted was horribly sick with one of the more virulent strains of flu.  Now he’s recovering, and I’m praying for work that gets me out of the house; he’s benched for the rest of the week.  Sigh. Wondering how I am going to manage a solitary Beltane ritual tomorrow.   I somehow just can’t bring myself to do most of what requires space and physical action.  In this space that feels so dissonant to me, it simply doesn’t seem right. And I really don’t have room for anything but the most rudimentary of altars, one that I move from windowsill to desk.  See why I want to get out of here so badly?  I would like to go someplace outdoors and just read the rite and visualize myself doing it.

I decided to start doing some audiobooks again, seeing as how I am enjoying the audio version of the Druidic course I’m doing.  Something Ted said when I bemoaned my lack of local history knowledge made me decide to focus on buying something that would benefit me directly, at least this time.  (He said, “You can’t know everything.  Better to focus on something that will actually benefit you.”)  The Great Courses had several courses on nutrition.  I’ve had very good results with them before; their professors are knowledgeable and great speakers.  I started with one short one about myths of nutrition and fitness.  Listened to the first 30-minute segment on my Exercycle this morning.   Interesting that he seems to have taken a lot of his ideas from how healthy children naturally eat.  He had some good ideas about eating before exercise, but the most important idea was attention to how the food felt to you, what you felt once you ate it.  The problem I’ve always had with stopping eating once I cease to feel hungry, not full, is that I don’t know when I will eat again.  So that’s the idea I’m working with at the moment, as well as not eating as if it’s going to be snatched from me at any moment.