The wheel really does turn eventually

by cathrynbauer

Our new home 3/11/12!  Half an acre for the garden!

Life is moving forward regardless of everything, just like it always does.  We spent some time at the new development with Marrick yesterday.  At this advanced stage, we were able to work with Jay, one of the senior people at Marrick. I wish we’d had him from the beginning.  I am feeling better about this all the time.  He worked it so our contingency could be extended a little (we want to be sure we can sell the California house before it’s a dead cert that we’re building here), but they could begin applying for the necessary building permits.  Marrick is holding a St. Patrick’s Day meet-and-greet for all of us new neighbors.  The fiddle and I are going to be the entertainment. That should get us off to a good start. We looked at a couple of other lots, then went back to the one we were originally interested in, and something just clicked for me.  This was our space, and it’s going to be amazing for us.  Sometimes you just know.  Having a half-acre to garden is going to be different, but I suspect I will adapt beautifully.

After we finished with Marrick, we went south to Calvert Cliffs State Park and walked a couple of miles out through forest and marshes to Chesapeake Bay.  What a great trail, very interesting.  For the last part of the hike, we traveled through wetlands, teeming with energetic bird life, to the creek mouth.  To me, the place where the river or stream meets the ocean The beach was nothing to write home about, particular since there was an unsightly LNG storage platform stuck in the middle of the Bay, directly in front of the beach.   But it was a beach, and we got ourselves there.  Looking forward to many more explorations with Ted.  I find myself very curious about the Eastern Shore.

I found a way to remember Robert that I am very satisfied with.  I think another mutual friend is going to do the same thing.  I made a donation to the scholarship fund of Pacific Music Camp where we met in 1969 in his memory.   I also found a way to make myself useful in the other bereavement matter.  I am being intentionally vague with this  because I don’t want to write too much about my friends’ business.   But my suggestions were taken.  I feel some relief that I have been able to be constructive somehow in these situations.  I truly don’t understand some of the apparent indifference or confusion that people have in the face of someone else’s bereavement, much less the perception that there is a single, preconceived path through the worst of grief.  My own experiences of bereavement have taught me the absolutely worst response in that circumstance is no response.  A close second is expecting the bereaved person to react the way you think they should, and pressing them for that response with a patronizing view to doing them good.   In the total scheme of things, I am grateful that I did learn how to handle death and dying when young.  German people tend not to believe that children are to be shielded from life’s harsher realities.  I can certainly think of some other ways that backfired in my case, but not this one.  If you are bereaved, you have all your feelings while taking care of business.  If someone else is, you find a non-intrusive way to make yourself useful to them, such as cooking a portable dinner and dropping it by their home, and keep your ears open for what else might be needed.  You don’t stare blankly or just say, “Oh” at the news.  It is tempting to regard folks who do this as having the emotional range of a turnip.

I got rave reviews on a first job I did for an agency, including with their formatting.  Whew.  A semi-local agency that likes me and has mostly great jobs.  Even with the inevitable and ridiculous delays in getting my notary commissions in DC and Virginia, the career has taken off surprisingly well.

Obla-dee, obla-die, life goes on, bro/lordy, how the life goes on.