Reaching out: Fail

by cathrynbauer

The little woods behind our condo.

Well, I visited the Unitarian congregation this morning, sort of.  It did not go well.  I have learned to trust that sort of instinct.  Their Website had really detailed directions which easily took you to the facility where it was located, one that was actually quite large, had the name “Higher Education” in it, and had several wings with no indication of where the Unitarian service was.  There was another religious group meeting at the same time; since there weren’t any further directions or signs, I followed the crowd and ended up at some kind of Bible fellowship.  Oops.  Got a rather cold look when I asked if this was the Unitarian service.  Oops.  Not where I wanted to be.  So I wandered around and finally found a sign that the Unitarian service was in Multipurpose Room 2.  Groped my way there to hear some loud, less-than-tuneful, prideful singing and strumming going on and the doors locked.   Another woman came up and I asked her if this was the Unitarian service.  She said it was but shhh, shhh, it was her husband singing.  She led me through a side door, but I decided not to go in.  Thanks to not knowing where the room was in this large facility, I was late.  And since the door was locked, I had a definite sense it was not okay to be late.  I was frustrated, fed up with not knowing where anything was generally, and just did not want to meet the congregation under these circumstances.  Anyway, it was really weird that they had detailed road directions, but once you got to this large, complex building, you were on your own.  That all added up to a simple case of bad vibes.  Yes, that probably says more about my state of mind than theirs, but sheesh, what is with a group that is completely unmindful of the need to find the room?  And what was with the locked door?  Probably they don’t get many newcomers.  Well, they certainly didn’t get me.

It’s just all gone.  Friends to visit, knowing how to get where I need to go, always something around to give me pleasure and enjoyment in life, weather I’m usee to, completely gone.  The real estate guy selling our California house sent pictures of the refurbed house.  I have to admit a beautiful job was done, but the garden was just eviscerated except for about a dozen perennials I planted.  That was really hard to see.  Work will start eventually.  I have all my notary applications in.  Problem is that most jobs I qualify for without one are not likely to be very good.  It’s cold.  Thirty degrees is cold to a Californian.  My first attempt at outreach was an epic fail.

I don’t know quite what I am going to do tomorrow.  There’s plenty to do here in Prince Frederick, none of it very much fun.  Bleeah.  What I’d really like to do is go somewhere like the Smithsonian or National Cathedral or Folger Shakespeare Library and have my mind blown at the complex wonderfulness of the world we live in.  And get a good cup of coffee.  The Starbucks here is a real Podunk Starbucks.  They make their drinks weak, don’t have enough places to sit, and run out of croissants too early on the weekends.  I am running low on my emergency stash of Peets that I drip through a little filter.  No, haven’t come across the coffeemaker yet, though I did order from peets.com last week.  A good fiction book would help, too.  And tonight is the night that I start lighting the pink candle Michael gave me.  I know he charged it with good wishes for me, and now is the time to call on them.   Plus I think I am going to try something I’ve read about, but never really tried: to act in faith and thank the Goddess for each of the challenges I have right now, then see where that takes me.

Onward, ever onward.

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